Sisterhood Award

My amazing Tracey tagged me for this.  Her blog is awesome, folks, so you should go check it out.  (And thank you, Deb, for teaching me how to add links subtly.  Check out her blog, too, guys.  Tracey’s right about her awesome Marvel dreams).

Anyway, as always with these things, there are rules to add to the fun.

-Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.

-Put the award logo on your blog.

-Answer the ten questions sent to you.

-Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.

-Nominate ten blogs.

So seeing as the first two steps are done, let us proceed to the third:

1. What book world would you like to live in?

Warning: Tracey’s questions are both the best and worst.  Simultaneously.  Wow, this is a hard one….  To me, the best books are those where I feel at home.  When I finish them, I feel empty inside, like I’m homesick.  That’s how I judge a book.  And going by that, I would have to say Arthurian England.  Not just England, but the Other World.  The place adjoining ours where magic is the norm.  The world divided into the Seelie and Unseelie courts, where anything is possible and where I feel that my heart belongs.

2. Favorite flower?

Pansies and roses.  Rose is my middle name, and to me, they’re the epitome of elegance, grace, and beauty (you can also probably thank Beauty and the Beast for these thoughts and opinions).  And pansies were one of the first flowers ever identified to me.  I just think they’re awesome.  My mom bought a little clay egg that supposedly had a pansy seed in it, and the blasted thing never grew.  My favorite flower failed me.

a bit of floral loveliness for the afternoon tea tray

(Is this not a gorgeous picture?)

3. Name a friend who’s like a sister to you, and if you like, share a memory.

Sarah Westmoreland.  We’re so close that we say we have multiple-body disorder.  Memory?  Gosh, we talk almost every single day, so that’s a lot of memories to sift through.  One of my favorites was when I traveled down to North Carolina to visit her and her family and she and I just sat on the couch downstairs, reading through written things, looking over Victorian Trading Company magazines and just discussing life.  Plus when she showed me the Harry Potter Hakuna Matata parody, Avada Kedavra.  She wishes vehemently that she’d never introduced me to that wonder of a video.  It’s pure gold, guys.

4. Dream ride?  (Could have wheels, wings, or legs).

Whoa.  I have no idea.  Does time-travel count?  At the fair, I love the swing ride.  Y’know, the one where they sit you in a plastic swing with a metal bar loosely across you and you just go in a circle in the air as if you’re flying?  Yeah, that one.

5. Favorite book character you’ve met recently?

Mika.  Without a doubt, Mika.  I follow Mirriam Neal and for JuNoWriMo she did an Alice in Wonderland rewrite called This Curious Madness.  I had the unparalleled privilege of betaing it, and while I loved the world, Alice, the Hatter, the Jabberwock — well, basically everyone but Jack — Mika was my favorite.  I’m going to try not to tell too much, seeing as I haven’t had permission or anything from Mirr, but Mika is one of those special people that you feel honored to know.  All the heartbreak and hurt he’s been through, never knowing if there’s going to be light at the end of the tunnel still didn’t diminish his personal light.  Who he is, while broken, is capable of healing in the most beautiful of ways.  If I had to name one person from that book who was a hero, it would be Mika.

6. What song is playing in your head right now?

Those of you who have read the end of This Curious Madness will get why One Knight from the Wonderland musical is there now.

alice in wonderland card concept

7. Favorite historical time period?

Blinking heck.  Deb, I blame you for this one.  I don’t know….  I love it all.  But I really love studying ancient cultures.  They have so many ties to my beliefs, and seeing how secluded peoples lived their lives fascinates me.  I also adore studying America’s revolution, and yet another one that I want to delve further into is medieval England.  Oh, and we mustn’t forget King Gongmin’s rule in Korea.  (Faith, anyone?)

Cute Lee Min Ho - Faith (Korean Drama) 신의 @Samantha Ripley.  Here's your favorite Korean man!

(My man).

8. Would you prefer to live in a hobbit hole or Rivendell?

Tracey!  Gosh dang it!  Why do you ask such hard questions?  Man….  I honestly have no idea, partly because I’m a lousy person who hasn’t read any of Tolkien’s stuff.  Can I have both?  I love the splendor of Rivendell (and the name sounds like ‘river’ which reminds me of adventure and the miracle of trout), but I love the coziness of the hobbit holes.  And their tunnels.  Can I just combine both?  At the top I’ll have a beautiful Elven castle, and underneath will be my own private maze with cushy chairs and lots of pantries.

9. Describe your everyday makeup, if you wear any.

This is easier.  I usually go between black eyeliner over the water and tight lines with mascara and a Japanese rocker look.  But I do tend to play around with make-up on Sundays, altering my look depending on my outfit or my mood (and the fact that I can’t go to church dressed like Aoi from the GazettE).

Aoi, the GazettE

(Aoi.)

10. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate.  Just chocolate.  Not chocolate truffle, chocolate chunk, ya-di-yah.  But our father has trained us well to go to Dairy Queen, and I am in love with their cotton candy blizzard.  My sister’s response when she was asked how it was after she had tasted it was, “Sexy.”

Ooh-hoo, now the fun part.  I get to give y’all questions.

1. What is your passion?  (Basically, what is the thing you love to talk about most?  What drives and inspires you?)

2. If there was one character you would like to be for a day, who would be your choice?  Why?

3. Favorite hair color?  (It could even be unicorn pink.  I won’t judge).

4. Favorite summer treat?

5. What’s your favorite movie/story and why?

6. What is your role in your family?  (Are you the peacemaker, the bug-slayer, the counselor…?)

7. What is your proudest accomplishment?

8. Favorite season?  Why?

9. What’s your favorite food — and can I come visit and partake of it with you?

10. What are the qualities you look for in a spouse?

And the tagging:

Shelby Ence

Rana

Lisa-Pickle

And I’m super sorry, but I still don’t know that many of you.  Please feel free to take this and run with it, and I would love it if you would give me the link to your answers in the comments.

Cheers!

Ana

Happy Independence Day!

God Bless America..we all need to help protect our Constitution.  It is up to you to get informed and not let TV add form your opinion. I don’t know if it’s being homeschooled, LDS, or just my family, but we are strong supporters of this country.  Everything the United States of America was built upon was correct not only in the sight of God, but for the benefit and happiness of all men.

America wanted to be able to speak for herself.  She wanted no part of being governed by a people who knew not her needs and were unfamiliar with her standards.  She fought for her freedom to the most basic rights — and she won.  Against all the odds, she won.  She became free.

The birth of this country was not an easy one.  Men, most enlightened, all driven by a desire to make a better country (with the possible exception of Mr. Alexander Hamilton), labored for many, many years over how to govern the United States.  In the words of John Adams, who was acting as ambassador in England at the time of the ratification of the Constitution, “Measures were pursued to concert a plan to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquillity, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty. The public disquisitions, discussions, and deliberations issued in the present happy Constitution of Government.”

This country is the work of God.  We are blessed — yea, encouraged — to think for ourselves and stand for what we believe in.  This country is founded on the principles of freedom.  I can live my religion with minimal persecution.  I can vote, lending a hand in the development of the country.  I have the right to find a job and go to college.  I am free.

Again, allow me to quote John Adams: “What other form of government, indeed, can so well deserve our esteem and love?”

And I do love this country.  Despite how it is on the verge of trampling my beliefs under its feet, I can make a difference.  The United States of America was founded on the principles of God and freedom.  I believe in what this country stands for.

I love my God.

I love my family.

I love my fellow men.

I love my country.

God bless America.

-Ana

American flag and fireworks

The Last Day of May

As everyone has been continuously reminded, May is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month.  And today is the 31st.

This is gonna make me cry.

Please share the word.  There are many of us that are suffering.  We need others to know about this — employers, parents, everyone.  There are so many different ways Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome affects us individually, but almost as many when it comes to families and communities.

Keep us in your prayers and thoughts, please.  Yes, this makes us stronger, but a cure would be really nice.  And tell all your doctor friends about it, please.  If someone comes to them, it would be wonderful if they had the capacity to correctly diagnose EDS.

And I am super tired, so I’m going to bed.  Sleep, here I come!

Cheers!

Ana

The Nameless One

Being in the mind of a writer is like living in the middle of an orchestra pit during Verdi’s Aida.  Music, beautiful despite all the shades of color, constantly swirls around you, sounding in your ears and lifting you to an entirely different plane, one where anything is possible.

Good luck staying in reality.

Ideas for stories constantly bombard me, scrabbling for my attention, pulling at my hair and clutching my arms.  And many times, these ideas are in the form of people, characters who need their stories told.

See, when I meet a character, it’s not an option for me to disregard them.  They deserve to live and breathe through the words I put together.  To me, they are real.  How could I deny a friend, someone I understand as if I’d known them my whole life, the chance to come alive?

So I collect them.  I have so many stories — and each story has many characters — that surround me, but I can only work on so many things at a time.  But that doesn’t stop me from loving my patient — or not — babies and getting to know them better.

One that’s been stuck in my head recently doesn’t yet have a name.  He needs one that isn’t from here, but I’m not that great at coming up with them.  So, here’s what he looks like:

He’s from a novel I’ve got under the working title, “What Unfamiliarity Does,” but it’s a lame name and it needs fixing.  It’s about three young adults who are brought by a man who’s a little mentally unbalanced to another world in deep political turmoil, and they are expected to fulfil the prophecy of peace returning to the land.  There are two divisions — those still loyal to the princess and the portion of people who have followed her corrupt uncle.

This little man right up there is basically the usurping uncle’s right-hand man.

Oh, and before I continue, I’m gonna be honest here: Ruki from the GazettE totally inspired him.  I needed a bitty person who was bad.  Ruki’s height and stage/media persona fit so well, and I love his little face.  He’s just Ruki, you know?  But while Ruki inspired my person, he has fleshed out until he has become whole.  The role he fills also was a huge factor in how he came to be.  He is needed in the story, and I think he’s a character who will constantly be full of surprises.  You never know what’s up his sleeve.

So, for all of us to get to know him better and because I am dying to spend more time with him, we’re going to have a Q&A.

Why does he not have a name?

Because he needs something exotic — preferably imagined, but nothing’s come yet.  The naming of a character is a huge process, and you have to make sure you’ve got it exactly right.  Mira.

Got it.

Well, now you see how my writing/naming/inspiration process works.  I have to have something spark it, and writing about him just did.  I wanted to name him after my friend Mirriam Neal, since she’s the one who introduced me to a lot of things that helped him come to be, and she loves Ruki as much as I do.  And jotting down random letter combinations inspires me, too.

So.  Mira.

Not exactly exotic or abnormal, but this is a guy we’re talking about, so yes, in a sense it is.  And now there’s no going back — he has claimed his name.

Sorry for the interruption — inspiration called.

Anyway.  Onward.

What would be our first impression of him?

Mira has an air about him that is distant and mysterious, yet there is a certain laziness.  Perhaps ‘lazy’ isn’t the right word … languid?  While he never gives much more than a passing glance, he takes in everything about you, and somehow, you know it.  You feel the danger of this man and know he cannot be trusted.

What does he think of himself?

He tries not to.  He does his duties, he shrewdly watches over everything around him, but he knows his shortcomings — and outright failures and mistakes — all too well to be comfortable with himself.  It’s one reason why insults hurt him much more than he shows.  For most people, the story is about them.  Each character, supporting or principal, is of the opinion that the story is theirs, and they’re right.  It wouldn’t be the same without them.  But Mira’s idea is that he is very much a supporting character in a play so grandoise the sets, the script, and even the actors will fall apart at the slightest touch.  He is a master of intrigue and manipulation, and he knows how dangerous this game is.

How does he treat others?

He seems very passive towards others.  He puts on a facade that is very apathetic, one that leaves the word problems to others and simply does the equation.  It’s a protection.  No one is able to get near him that way — his heart, his soul, everything is guarded by a silken film impossible to see through.

What are his goals?

The principal one is just to live another day.  He plays a very dangerous game and his desire to avoid losing is very strong.

What is his spirit animal?

Probably something like a jaguar.  Hidden in the trees, but a powerful predator.  You don’t know he’s there until he attacks.

Does he fight using words or weapons?

Mira?  Fight?  Yeah, right.  He stays out of every confrontation he can.  He’s one that likes to skirt issues, always taking the back-door approach.  If he had to choose one, it would be words.  He can talk his way out of pretty much anything, somehow pinning the blame elsewhere.

Is there anyone in the world he’s close to?

No.  He tries his best to protect others from himself and those that would hurt them.  And love would be a weakness — if anything went wrong, that person would be the prime target for his enemies.  He doesn’t want to make that choice between someone he cares for and his mission and beliefs.  In truth, he also doesn’t think himself worthy of love.  Friends, family … for their own welfare, he cannot have them.

How does he dress?

He lives in the desert, but actually wears quite a few layers that he will take off or put on according to his mood and temperature.  He usually wears things in either black or red, but he does love fashion and color is certainly a part of that for him.  He loves accessorizing.  Necklaces, bracelets … rings are a favorite.  It rather makes him feel powerful.  And his hair always has volume, and he is quite partial to red lipstick.

What is his role in the story?

I want him to be a very prominent character, but so far logic and Mira himself are telling me that isn’t possible.  But while he may or may not be prominent in person (we’ll see who wins this war), his effect on the novel will be immeasurable.

Because … he’s a double agent.


Ha, ha.  That was your teaser.  And goodness knows I won’t be able to get to the novel for real anytime soon, so I’m kind of harming us all in this process.

So that was Mira.  He’s my baby and I love him.

Cheers!

Ana

 

The Definition of Insanity

One of my works in progress is a novel whose temporary title was ‘Dream Dancers.’  It’s something that I knew was going to take a lot of work.

Just not this much work.

The Definition of Insanity (thank you, Shelby, for okaying the title), is a story about a woman in her early twenties who has always heard voices in her head.  She doesn’t really know what’s going on, but there are actually other people living inside her mind.  And they want out — badly.

My best friend and I were talking the other day, and we kind of realized how pathetic we are.  She knows more about the regency period and I know more about ancient Egypt than we do about the modern world.  What on earth do normal people our age do with their lives?  That’s a huge problem I have with the Definition of Insanity.  While it’s got elements that aren’t ‘normal,’ for the most part it’s a contemporary novel and it confuses me.  Many interesting things happen in daily life, but not much that makes a good book.

This is my third time rewriting the beginning.  I have to write chronologically, so the beginning, for me, is a huge part of integrating myself in the story.  And it kept falling flat.  I had too much info-dump and hadn’t planned things out enough.  And I readily admit I was rather lazy.  I’m rather a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of person and my methods and the story were not meshing.  When I write, I need excitement.  And what I was doing wasn’t conducive with the story.

But I learned more from every rewrite.  I already have playlists put together to spur my mind as I write and I’ve finally nailed the plot down more.  This time, I think I can do it.

So, just for fun, I’m going to tell you a bit about my story.

The name is kind of a family in-joke.  My dad is a huge tease and he likes to tell us that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.  And just given the content, it fits.  Besides, I think writing this one might just drive me over the edge.

I was inspired to write the book, in part, by the therapy I was doing.  My dear friend and therapist, Brother Cassity, had me try a technique where I would ‘enter’ a sort of conference room in my head where all the facets of myself had gathered.  He asked me to find the one holding onto all the fear, and when I saw her, I think I scared him a little.  This is Valkyrie.

I was born into a less-fortunate household, seeing as my biological father was quite mentally and emotionally abusive.  I grew into a hardened, mean individual, and Valkyrie is basically myself had I not been given the opportunities to change.  (And for the record, my mother remarried when I was twelve, and I completely, totally, and unreservedly consider my new father as my real one).  So writing this book is very much an emotional journey for me, as I’ll be delving into my past and coming to terms with it.  Everyone has difficulties and trials individual to them, and a goal I hope I can reach with this novel is to bring peace to other tortured souls.

As always, a book is made by its characters.  Plot, technique, etc. are all very important, but to create a memorable experience characters have to be flesh-and-blood, individuals the audience can relate to and sympathize with.  I’ve spent quite a bit of time on these guys, and I’d like to introduce you now:

DUSTY ELIZABETH DARCY (FORMERLY MURPHY)

My protagonist, Dusty Darcy

Dusty, the protagonist and host of most of the others, was legally adopted by her mother’s second husband, which is why her last name changed.  She’s twenty-one, and the book begins soon after she and her sister lose their parents.  She’s intelligent but struggles with school and currently works at JCPenney in Reno, Nevada.  She’s a quarter Sioux on her mother’s side and has thick black hair, full lips, thick brows and eyes that are rather small in her chiseled face.  (Morphing Lily Collins and Sandra Bullock kind of did the trick with a bit of GIMP alteration).  She’s a bit blunt, a bit of an introvert, and loves to read — just don’t ask her to spout her knowledge.  She has bad dyscalculia (basically dyslexia with numbers), and is quite the people-watcher.  Rather quiet, it takes a while to get to know her, but inside, she’s always acquiring and digesting new facts about the world around her.

RYCE KATHRINE DARCY

Aww, happy Ryce

This is Dusty’s younger sister.  They’re not biologically related, so don’t be surprised at their complete lack of resemblance.  She’s a literal genius, but because of money matters she’s decided not to continue on to college — at least not for the moment — and it crushes Dusty.  She’s sugar and spice and everything nice, but she’s surprisingly shrewd.  She always sees the good in people and tries hard to remain positive.  She’s overwhelmingly loyal to her sister, and in many ways is Dusty’s rock.  Dusty is Ryce’s caution, Ryce is Dusty’s worry-alleviator.  They balance each other out very well.

DJIN (NEEDS MIDDLE NAME) HAWTHORNE

Djin!

Djin’s kind of rough-around-the-edges.  When you first meet him, he seems kind of hard and sullen, but that’s just the way he appears.  He does have quite the temper, but usually manages to keep it in check.  He doesn’t trust others very easily, but is usually willing to give them a chance.  He’s devoted to his adopted brother, Tsuyoshi, and when he’s around him is the only time his true softness comes out.  Djin feels things very deeply and is somehow of the opinion that it is his job to care for those trapped in Dusty’s mind.  He’s very selfless, almost to a fault, little though you’d know it from his brusque attitude.  All-in-all, he’s what my friends and I call a burnt marshmallow — bitter and hard on the outside, gooey and sweet on the inside.  Although I don’t think he’d be particularly keen on that description.

TSUYOSHI AKI (NEEDS LAST NAME)

.

He was inspired by the adorable Yuzuru Hanyuu who won the gold in the men’s skating last winter Olympics.  That little face needed a story.  So Tsuyoshi (or ‘Tsu,’ as Djin calls him) was born.  He was the last to arrive in Dusty’s mind, and Djin kind of took him in.  Tsuyoshi is very different from the others — he’s incredibly sweet and soft-hearted.  He’s not the brightest sometimes, but he’s kind and loving in an innocent way that is very rare these days.  Whatever he does, he does with his whole heart.  He loves music, especially classical, and can often be found composing in the apartment he and Djin share.

HUGO JAMES BENEDICT

Combine Jareth and The Awesome Elvin King Whose Name I Don't Know and you have ... HUGO JAMES BENEDICT.

(Another morphed project).  Hugo likes to keep to himself, though he is attracted to Valkyrie.  Out of all of them, he is perhaps the coldest.  He thinks only of himself, not even those he’s been with for about a decade.  His opinion of himself is basically that he’s royalty.  His apartment is lush and he enjoys spending time in the library, philosophizing and looking regal in his tailored suits.  Very self-absorbed.  He is willing to do anything to free himself from Dusty’s mind, and that makes him the most dangerous of all.

VALKYRIE AURORA WEBB

I made a Valkyrie thing!  I'm so proud of myself!

Valkyrie is an extremely complicated individual.  (No, you may not call her ‘Val.’  I do, but she can’t murder me without her story careening to a halt).  She remembers far more than Dusty the abuse they suffered at the hands of Dusty’s biological father, and she has grown into a woman haunted by her past, hardened to the point that she no longer feels anything.  Her only relief comes by dancing, the rigor of ballet somehow soothing her.  She also loves music and has a vast collection of both classical and musical theatre.  (She is against pop.  She finds it crude and childish).  She doesn’t feel, but she certainly thinks.  She doesn’t know how to see the positive, and life, for her, is just about surviving one more day.

CHRISTOPHER (NEEDS MIDDLE AND LAST NAMES)

The name is completely coincidental, I promise.  Chris just graduated college with a degree in engineering, sponsored by his wealthy parents.  He has everything he wants.  He’s first attracted to Dusty, but Ryce quickly captures his attention.  He’s charming, caring, and attentive, and his help is greatly appreciated by the struggling girls (much to the dislike of those in Dusty’s mind).  But his motives are far less generous than what initially they seem.

So, that was a sneak peek into my old/new novel.  I hope you enjoyed, because there will definitely be more on the subject.

Cheers!

Ana

P.S. Happy birthday, Reita!

Reita - The GazettE

Liebster Award Tag

I love that name.  I have no idea what it means, but the German-ness of it is just so fun.

Anyway, I considered myself tagged by my dear friend Tracey.  She’s an awesome person, amazing writer, and hilarious friend.  Read her list: http://traceydyck.blogspot.com/2015/05/liebster-award.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TraceyDyck+%28Tracey+Dyck%29

(I have no idea how to make the fancy ‘click here’ signs, so please bear with me.  I looked it up and was even more confused than before).

Anyway, on to the questions!

1. What’s one of your favorite summer reads?

Oh, dear me.  I don’t really reread books, so this is a hard one.  There are very few things I actually revisit cover to cover, and it’s only when I feel a strong need to enter back into those worlds.  Those picks are a) the Squire’s Tales, b) an unfinished book by my friend, c) Harry Potter, and probably d) the Phantom of the Opera.  And right now I’m reading Najee: A Glimmer of Hope by Sarah Y. Westmoreland, and Shakespeare is good for any season.

The Squire, His Knight, and His Lady (The Squire's Tales) by Gerald Morris. $6.99

(Based on the legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight).

2. What’s your favorite way to cool off on a hot summer day?

My sisters and I developed a game we would play in our rather suburban neighborhood: fill a huge bucket with water, arm everyone with a plastic cup, and chase each other with the full glasses.  Hit your victim with the water, they’re frozen until someone else frees them.  You get soaked, but it’s so much fun.  And apparently wet long hair is not a good alternative to the water glass — I’m told it hurts.

3. What’s a combination of three authors’ “special somethings” that you’d like to emulate in your own writing?

Ooh, rough one, Tracey.  Great question, though!  Hmm.  First of all, Gerald Morris’ (the Squire’s Tales) humor.  His books are laugh-out-loud hilarious and the man’s wit is rapier-sharp.  I love Eloise Jarvis McGraw’s perfect balance between showing and telling, making you feel as if you are in the book.  And probably my favorite detail included in the books I love most is the realism of the characters.  If they’re flesh-and-blood, I have to love them.  They become my friends.  One of the best at this is Mirriam Neal, but Eloise Jarvis McGraw and Gaston Leroux are also some of my favorites in this area.

4. What music are you currently listening to?

Right now?  Or just in this general time frame?  Right now I’m listening to my sisters putting together a puzzle, and they’re not music.  They’re strange creatures.  Generally, right now I listen to the GazettE, but I do that a lot.  I’m also doing a project involving musical theatre, so I’m listening to more Chess and Aida (Elton John’s, not Verdi’s, obviously).

5. Which superhero (from either Marvel or DC) are you most like?

Tracey, are you trying to kill me?  No idea.  I want to be Spider-Man (not Spider-Girl, I will be Spider-Man), but as to whom I’m already the most like?  (And I really hope that was the proper use of ‘whom’ — Mom’s helping with the puzzle, and I’m too lazy to utilize her English-teacher skills).  I’d like to say I’m most like Captain America, since he’s one of my top favorite people ever, but probably Bruce Banner/the Hulk with maybe a bit of Natasha Romanoff/the Black Widow thrown in.  I try to be calm and kind, but my temper is something I struggle daily with.  And like Nat, I haven’t always been a perfect princess, but I still try to do my best.

6. What’s your favorite fantasy creature you’ve ever read about?

Chimera, hands-down.  Have you ever read the Treekeepers?  I’d always liked chimeras, but Ally completely solidified that.  I also love griffins, and dragons are cool, too.  Although my love of chimeras kind of got me into trouble — there was a girl when we just moved here that I was trying to be nice to whose name, while spelled differently, was Chimera.  I said, “Oh, that’s awesome!  They’re my favorite animal!”  My sisters told me later that my ‘compliment’ may not’ve been that welcome, seeing as we live in a deprived community where a chimera is a type of car.  I love where I live, but I can’t imagine a world without chimeras — it would seem so lonely, bleak, and sad.

Adorable baby chimera yawns its way into your heart

(It’s a baby chimera!)

7. Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate.

my thoughts exactly.

8. What’s something you admire about yourself?

I don’t give up.  I come from conquering stock (William the Conqueror and Charlemagne on Mom’s side, Theodore Turley and the pioneers on Dad’s, just to name a few), and I shall make my ancestors proud.  There are times, of course, when I want to give up, but how could I live with myself if I did?  My life would come to a grinding halt, and I refuse to give in to those things that would like to stop me.

9. Which do you prefer: writing by hand or typing?

Because of the Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, I struggle with writing by hand.  Besides, I swear it was a form of torture my mother devised for us as children.  Because of my loose joints, my handwriting is really bad, and if I write for too long my wrists tries to attack me.  Which is why I can’t study math right now….

10. If failing was impossible, what would you do?

Everything!  I would be a heart surgeon, a pharmacist, live in college and speak fifty languages, I would take a walk every single day, I would fly, I’d become a mermaid, I’d become Spider-Man, I would be good enough to sing at the ROH (Royal Opera House), and most importantly, I would rid myself of all the mistakes I make once and for all.  I’ve mentioned that I have a real fear of failure, and something that kills me is my past.  I feel like I make so many mistakes and have so many flaws and can never make my Heavenly Father proud, but if failure was eliminated, those thoughts wouldn’t trouble me.  But honestly, failure is part of the eternal plan.  If there was no fear of failure, there would be no triumph when we succeeded.

The Amazing Spider-Man | 24 Unofficial Movie Posters That Are Better Than The Real Posters

11. What’s something God has taught you recently, new or rediscovered?

Best question yet, Tracey.  He’s teaching me about the Atonement again.  That no matter how many mistakes I make, I can be forgiven.  And He’s teaching me that He’s always there.  I can always rely on Him, even if it’s a small matter.  He wants to help me.  My biological father always told me how disappointed God was with me, so it means so much that I’m learning from God Himself that it’s not true.  I can become better, and I do have worth in His eyes.

Tagging time!

All right, I still am very limited in who I know in the blogosphere, so please, consider yourself tagged and give me the link in the comments!

But I do have to tag those I actually know: Shelby, Lody, and my new EDS friend Mandiix.  And Rana, I’m not sure what the rules are concerning tags, so you’re included.

And the questions:

1. Which Disney character do you identify most with?

2. What’s your ethnic background?

3. If you had your pick of the best cosplay materials in the world but could only choose one character to play, who would it be?

4. What do you think the greatest blessing in your life is?

5. What is your favorite physical attribute in yourself, and what is your favorite spiritual attribute in yourself?

6. If you forgot everyone in your life and your relation to them except for one person, who would that person be?

7. What’s your dream? (It doesn’t have to be something achievable.  Just something you dream of doing, every impossibility thrown out the window).

8. What are your favorite qualities in a friend?

9. What do you like to study? (It could be anything from Impressionist painting to the cultural impact of fleas).

10. What is your favorite word?

11. List all the reasons you’re amazing.

Cheers!

Ana

You Snooze, You Lose

I know what you're thinking: you've exhausted all the cute things in your life. WELL YOU ARE WRONG. My chronic fatigue is getting worse.  I know it’s not only part of the Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, but part of the idiopathic edema I have as well.

I had what most people would consider near a full night’s sleep, yet I just work up from a nap.  I couldn’t stay awake.

It’s so frustrating, guys.  One of the reasons I’m doing this post is to spread awareness.  People get frustrated with me for always sleeping, telling me I should have more sleep, less sleep, normal bedtimes, should just get up, should just do it, should run around the block … and the list goes on and on.

I try.  Y’know?  I try so hard.  But nothing works.

I can’t help it.  I do the best I can.  I set my alarm really loud so I get up.  I try to interact instead of sleep.  But I’m always tired.  I could fall asleep anywhere, that’s how exhausted I always am.  I’ve crashed on the kitchen chairs.  I’ve slept curled up in my small window seat in my room.  I sleep upside-down in my bed, desperate not to sink into sleep too deep, but no longer able to fight off the ache for rest.

Sorry, my blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust.

(I find this adorable and hilarious).

Please, guys.  If you know someone struggling with chronic fatigue, please be understanding.  We need a cure, but until then, it’s really hard to live our lives without the support of those around us.  And please pray that we have the strength to carry on.

Cheers!

Ana